Saturday, March 23, 2013

Spring in my kitchen

I've had it with winter. Not quite sure why this year more than others but it's gotta end. Snow, cold, slush, boots, mittens, giant winter coats and nasty static cling, enough! In a futile act of defiance, I started wearing tank tops... in February. Pfff, what was I thinking?

By early March, my need to play in the dirt got too intense, there was no way I was going to hold off 'til late april, no way. So I started re-potting all the plants in the house. When I went to the store for supplies (ie dirt, and lots of it), I found these great little "plant and grow" narcissus kits (what can I say, I'm a sucker for liquidation sales). It was perfect! I wouldn't have to wait for the crocus and tulips to show, I'd bring spring inside! And it'd be a fun project with the kids, too.

We set it up on the sunniest windowsill (kitchen) and within days (two, tops), it was already poking its first shoot trough the dirt. We were all quite impressed at how fast it grew, at least a few inches per day. I sat next to it for a while at lunch once and I'm sure i saw it grow a bit, honest. And then, the moment we were all waiting for: it bloomed... Oh. My. God. THE STENCH!! I walked into the kitchen and though the cat had peed on the floor, or the rats had escaped their cage and used the kitchen as a giant litter. It was beyond gross.

As I moved around, sniffing the air, searching for the source, I finally realized the horrible sinus raking stench was coming from the freshly bloomed narcissus. Aw man! But wait, get this: it's not the kind with just one flower at the end of the shoot, oh no no no! It's a pod full of small ones, and there are 4 such shoots, so far. If this one tiny bloom is stinking up the entire kitchen, what's it going to be like when its 12 other pod-lings bloom too?!?!? Wrong, just plain wrong. People grow these things indoors on PURPOSE?! Really!?!? Have they no sense of smell?! Fuck this, bring back winter. Indoor spring at the yellow house has officially been cancelled due to unforeseen stinkage. *sigh*

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